Member-only story
Are We Dating The Same Guy?
What I discovered when I joined a group dedicated to exposing cheaters
Dating is an endeavor that I’ve never enjoyed. It’s often stressful, and sometimes depressing. More often than not, dating is full of unnecessary drama. Maybe the drama is why I was drawn to join a “Are we dating the same guy?” group on Facebook, despite not being interested in venturing into the dating world myself.
I’d seen posts about these groups on TikTok and expected a laugh or two. I thought I might even see someone I knew featured in one of the posts. I also wanted a fresh perspective on dating, and I genuinely wanted to root for some of the couples. I quickly learned that no man in the group was worth rooting for.
Cheaters and narcissists come in all shapes and sizes
When I picture a cheater or a narcissist, I have a particular image in mind. He’s attractive enough to draw the attention of multiple women. He’s on the younger side, early twenties to mid-thirties, and has a full head of hair.
That image quickly faded when I realized the liars and cheaters featured in the group were often well beyond retirement age. Not only were the men older than expected, but it was rare that I saw one who I felt was attractive.
What’s worse were their lists of crimes committed. There were claims of lying, cheating, gaslighting, theft, fraud, and even a few reports of physical abuse.
While some of the posts may have been from angry exes, most of the posts seemed sincere.
Some of the men made multiple appearances
Although the group was flooded with pictures of cheaters and narcissists, the majority of posts were from women asking if their potential dates had any red flags. It should come as no surprise that some men were regulars in the groups. A handful of them would get posted every few months.
A few of these men had even gone so far as to meet some women in the group, but none of these romantic pairings worked. The women who met them were ready to spill the tea on their former matches. It never deterred the men, as they continued to be posted every few months.
